Kevin Federline has 13 million more reasons to walk around with a shit-eating grin and a false sense of accomplishment. Britney and K-Fed finally settled on the terms of their divorce. Here are some of the details, according to MSNBC:

• A 2004 pre-nup called for K-Fed to get $250,000 for each year of their marriage, but Spears upped that figure to $500,000 to speed up the negotiations.
• He receives half the proceeds from their Malibu mansion, which is on the market for $13.5 million.
• $25,000 a month in child support for each of the couple’s two children until they reach 18. He also gets custody of the boys four days a week.
• Federline gets to keep all the gifts Spears bought them during their marriage.
• He’s forbidden from writing a tell-all about their marriage.

Having made one of the most epic falls from glory in pop history after marrying Kevin, Britney told Federline “You’re the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, but thank you for my babies.” Kevin retorted with “Popozão! That’s that fire, yo!”

At this point it’s a toss-up as to who the children would be less safe with, but with Kevin getting 4 days of quality time with the boys each week they will surely learn how to back-up dance their way to the top like their old dad. While it’s easy to despise Federline for the way he dresses, his music, or just his general disposition— you can’t say you’re not a little jealous. I mean, he’s living the American guy’s dream. He got the pop star, the mansion, the Ferrari’s, a rap album (and apparently a record label) with none of the typically prerequisite talent. Now he’s walking away with a enough money to buy Newports from himself AND his boys for the rest of their lives! But not until they’re 18. What kind of parent do you take him for— Britney Spears?

Could it be possible that the guy we’ve always considered to be talentless white trash is actually a genius incognito? Haha, hell no. Dad’s— hide your daughters.